Six Secrets to Eliminate Practice Struggles, or "The Practical Practice of Practicing Piano"

Let's be honest.  There is only one way to learn to play an instrument, and that is practice.  And not unlike my gross overuse of that under-appreciated word in the title of this post, I have found that what we think of as 'practice' could maybe use some expansion.  Perhaps as we change how we think about practice, maybe we can change how we talk about it, too.  And maybe, just maybe, we can help the practicers in our family adjust their little attitudes as well.

As busy parents of busy kids, with over-crowded calendars, the most challenging part of practice for me is not fitting it in (I have that part planned and back-up planned, and maybe you do too!), but having patience for a pace other than my own "let's-get-this-done-right-now-while-I-have-this-one-opportunity-and-you-better-sit-down-and-pay-attention-and-stay-on-task-and-finish-this-fast" frame of mind.  Is it any wonder that my kids avoid me when I call them to the piano with that attitude?  So instead of thinking of how I can help my kid 'get this over with,' or even how I can help her have 'a good experience at the keyboard,' maybe I first need to think about how to make practice more fun for me!  Because for some reason we are so much more transparent to our children than we would like to admit.

Here's a little list of quick tips I use with my own kids:

• Secret #1:  Instead of saying, "Time to practice," I try to use cheerful words like, "Let's play piano - I am excited to hear what you learned in class this week!"

• Secret #2:  If my kids are involved in something (whether a coloring page or Lego project, or more likely a TV show or a video game...again with the honesty), I try to give them advance notice.  I get way better results when I say, "As soon as you finish that episode of Strawberry Shortcake, I need you to come play piano with me," than when I interrupt them with, "It's time to practice right now, and I never said you could watch that show anyway."

• Secret #3:  Start with something that gets you (the parent) out of hyper-hurry mode and tuned into your child.  Maybe a favorite interactive song from class like How to Skip, Rig-a-Jig-Jig, I'm An Indian, or Shake My Sillies Out.  Dance, do the actions, giggle and connect before sitting down at the piano.

  

  Shakin' our sillies out!

  
• Secret #4:  Ask your child about favorites from the list of assignments, and plan to start and end with something they love to play.  Make the music its own reward.  Some days they think they have zero songs they like - it doesn't hurt to go back to a previous semester.  Even pull out the old tone bells.  Just getting them in piano-playing mode is really the trick.  Once they are playing something...anything!...they like, they begin to remember that they actually do enjoy this.  (Never try to get them to admit it, though!)

• Secret #5:  If your kid is laying on the bench in tears because they "hate practicing," just know that we have ALL been there.  Empathize with them.  Understand that sometimes piano can be hard, and sometimes it can also be amazing!  Let them know that it really is worth it, even if it doesn't feel that way right now (for either of you).  Offer to come back later and let them choose a better time, then set a timer or alarm and stick to it.  (Sometimes I even offer to let them stay up a few minutes after bedtime, but usually not in the midst of a tantrum).

• Secret #6:  If by chance they happen to wander past and sit down at the piano, notice it and praise whatever they are doing well, whether it's posture, hand position, finding middle C, etc.  Even if they are just goofing around, just make some observations..."Oh, you played those notes so staccato!"  "I think I heard a butterfly rhythm in there - did you hear that?"  Then let them tell you what they like about what they are doing!  When they find intrinsic reasons to value playing, no matter how small, these little discoveries about enjoying piano can eventually grow into a lifetime of musical enrichment.

So there is my quick compilation of the day-in and day-out secrets to setting the stage for successful practice sessions.  

For more on how to show your child you value their efforts on their instrument, you may also enjoy this post on Teaching Piano Today.  Some of the ideas are more geared toward private piano students, but there are plenty of useful and fun ways to show your kids that you're excited about what they are doing.